


I'll Be Home for Christmas

by Atthebottomofeverythingisloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27670453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atthebottomofeverythingisloki/pseuds/Atthebottomofeverythingisloki
Summary: When (y/n) is invited home for Christmas, Bucky volunteers to play the role of “dutiful boyfriend” and to fend off questions from annoying relatives, especially her parents. All the while both of them harbor secret feelings for one another.
Relationships: Eventually - Relationship, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

“UGH!” you yelled, slamming your cell phone down on the counter top. Not caring if the screen cracked or not.

“Whoa, what’d the phone do to you?” Bucky said, coming in from a run, face flushed red from the cold outside. He strode past you and right to the fridge.

“Not the phone so much as who was on the other end of the phone.” You sighed. Bucky retrieved a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge and sat down next to you. “My parents want me to come up for Christmas. And I do…kind of want to…but my parents can sometimes be a bit much… And I’ll be essentially “alone” for a week with them with no one to talk to while my cousins, whom I love, flaunt their happy relationships and I remain perpetually single.” “

Not to mention the million questions from family members about ‘when am I going to find a nice man?’ As if I had to settle down with a man!” You slammed your hands down on the counter top so hard Friday piped up.

“Are you alright, Miss. (y/n)?”

“Yep, just dandy.” You grumbled. Bucky was quiet for a moment.

“Wow, sounds like one heck of a time. How long is the trip?”

“A week at most. I can’t stomach longer than that without wanting to scream.”

“Surprised you even want to go.” Bucky commented.

“I’m dying to get away for a bit. Plus, there’s a few people I DO want to see. And I guess…” you paused. “Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I’m not one for church and all that, but the lights, the warm fuzzy feeling, the music. It’s the best.” You said, with a small smile. “What about you Bucky, any plans?” you asked, hoping to shift the conversation away from your issues.

“Eh, I don’t know. Thor invited anyone who wanted up to Asgard for a Yule festival. Supposed to be more meat and mead than one mortal could consume.” Bucky said.

“Sounds a lot more fun than a week alone with my family.” You commented.

“Well, what if you weren’t alone? What if your boyfriend came with you?”

“C’mon Bucky. You know as well as anyone my social life is dead.” Working as a paralegal in the legal department of Stark Industries left you extremely busy.

“I know that. But, to be honest, a week long break snowed in some cabin in…where is this place?”

“Maine,” you sighed wistfully, having fond memories of Christmases past.

“Maine sounds pretty nice to me. Plus, aren’t you always telling us how amazingly your mom cooks?” You smiled. “Oh yes. We never went hungry at my house. And dad keeps the liquor cabinet VERY well stocked.” You smirked.

But you worried your lip. “I don’t know, Bucky. I don’t want you doing this just out of pity or anything. I’m sure Steve wants to do something with you. Or Thor’s thing. Or there’s still SAVING THE WORLD?”

“I’m absolutely positive. Steve, Sam, and Nat are all planning on staying. Doing their own thing here. They can handle anything too bad. Thor’s thing sounded kind of fun but Yule happens every year. I can go eat and drink and whatever other crazy stuff they get up to next year. After everything with Thanos…it’d be nice to have a normal quiet Christmas. Besides, pulling one over on a bunch of sticks in the mud sounds like a great way to spread comfort and joy to me.” You both laughed.

“Well, pack your long underwear. It can get pretty cold up there. I’ll call my mom and tell her I’m bringing a ‘guest.’ You winked at him. “I’ll see if Tony can score us first class tickets.” you said, picking up your phone and going to call your mom.

“Sounds wonderful, doll.” He said with a coy wink. “I’ll start packing. Should we get match luggage so everyone knows we’re _madly_ in love?” he asked, heading towards his room. Your laugh followed him down the hall.

Internally though, you were screaming. Bucky Barnes was going to be your “date” to family Christmas. Holy fuck. You’d had feelings ever since first meeting the super soldier. You and Cap had been fast friends when you’d gotten hired. Then, when you inevitably met Bucky, sparks flew. But your work truly left you with no time to pursue a relationship. And besides, you didn’t think he would ever feel back for you what you did.

“Hi, mom?” you said once she picked up. “I think I might be able to make it after all. Is it alright if I bring a guest?”

“Well, I suppose. Is this a _friend_ of yours?” she said and you caught her tone. One thing your mom always picked on was your smaller social circle. Especially since it composed mostly of more online friends. But it just made you want to do this even more.

“Yes, mom. They’re a friend.” You explained.

“Well, alright. I suppose we’ll see you then.”

“Alright. Love you.”

“Love you too.” And she hung up. You let out a sigh, grateful she hadn’t poked so much.

But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Because you were spending Christmas with Bucky Barnes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is set into motion

The next day, Natasha, Wanda, Carol and you all decided to do some Christmas shopping.

You figured it would be rude to show up to Christmas without something for your parents, so you settled on a nice bottle of scotch for your father and a new air fryer for your mom. But you weren’t sure about Bucky. Should you get him something? I mean, it would be rude not to? The 4 of you had stopped for Starbucks, but you’d hardly touched your latte. And Wanda noticed.

“Alright, what’s on your mind?” she asked, jolting you from the mental list of gifts you were running down for Bucky.

“What do you mean?” you asked, taking a sip but finding your chestnut praline latte (with extra whipped cream!) now tepid.

“I mean the whole day you’ve had this day dream look in your eyes.”

“It’s cause she’s thinking about Bucky.” Natasha teased, sipping her white chocolate mocha.

“Am not!” you objected, a bit too loudly and revealing the truth. Nat quirked an eyebrow.

“Suuuure. And Steve DIDN’T tell me all about you guys’ little ‘fake dating’ plan.” You grumbled and made a note to kill Steve later.

“Look. I want to go see my family, but they’re just a lot to deal with. Thought it might be better to bring a friend. Besides the fake dating was technically _his_ idea.”

“Yeah, but we don’t hear you objecting.” Carol piped up. You pursed your lips. But let out a sigh.

“Fine, yes. I’m excited. Partially because the look on my family’s face when I show up with a literal superhero on my arm will make a great desktop wallpaper…and also because of Bucky.” You clenched your drink a little tighter. “I’ve liked him for a while. But I know how busy he is and I just…I don’t know. I don’t wanna complicate things or make it a messy workplace.” Wanda nodded in understanding.

“Listen, (y/n).” Carol said. “It took me a long time to admit my feelings for Maria. True it was a different set of circumstances, but if I’d never swallowed all my fear and opened up, I would’ve never found my soulmate.” You were quiet for a moment.

“Well, I can’t even begin to think of admitting feelings for him if I don’t find a perfect Christmas gift for him.”

“Guys are easy. A nice watch or maybe a bottle of really good whiskey and you’re all set.” Wanda suggested but you shook your head.

“Bucky’s different. I mean, the man was in and out of ice for roughly 70 years. What do you possibly get a man like that?” Suddenly Natasha’s eyes lit up

“I know just what to get him! But I’ll only tell you if you agree to one thing.” You narrowed your eyes.

“Your agreements usually have some personal cost to me…but I am desperate. Alright, agreed. What’s your idea?” When Nat told you, you honestly could’ve kissed her. “You’re a genius. Seriously, whatever the one thing is I’ll do it!”

45 minutes later, you walked out of a lingerie set with a gorgeous midnight blue babydoll with a white wolf embroidered on the left side. (And matching panties of course). After that you went straight home to get to work on Bucky’s present. It would take a few calls, a few strings and favors pulled (and some debt earned), maybe even a miracle. But hey, it was Christmas after all, and no matter what happened on this trip, you were determined to make it one Bucky would never forget.

Turns out “dating” one of Earth’s mightiest heroes came with some travel perks. First class tickets from JFK to Augusta Airport. The first-class accommodations were immaculate. You and Bucky were tucked almost into a pod of sorts, with your own chairs and a small dividing wall that could go down. And what was even better was the way the aisle was divided was your two seats were one half and on the opposite side were just solo seats. So you got the window and Bucky got plenty of leg room on the aisle. Not only that but the airline provided plenty of Kahlua and hot cocoa to keep you happy through the flight.

“So, what’s the place like? Classic cabin?” Bucky asked once he got settled.

“Ehhh sort of kind of. Bigger than a cabin but not huge. It was my grandfather’s home for a long time and when he died, he left it to us. Now we just for Christmas getaways. We go up, let ourselves get snowed in for a week or so and celebrate the holidays.” Talking about your families made you pause. “By the way, there’s something you should know. My parents are kind of…conservative.”

“Oh? How bad?”

“Not so bad they would hate gay people but bad enough they think being transgender is a ‘choice’.” You explained, sadly.

“Hmm…I suppose mentioning I’m a Black Lives Matter supporting bisexual member of ‘the greatest generation’ might piss them off huh?” he asked, a big shit eating grin on his face.

“First off, thank you so much for doing this. You’ve already improved my Christmas. But it brings up my next point, we need to establish our backstory. I mean, we need to establish our ‘relationship.’ I mean, how long have we been ‘dating’?” you said.

“Well…it’s serious enough you’re bringing me home, but not so serious we’re engaged or they would’ve heard. Maybe a year? 2 at most?”

“Split the difference and call it a year and a half? We can even be living together, but we’ll explain it was more out of convenience than anything.”

“Damn you’re good at this.” Bucky commented. “How long has it been since you last saw them?” You paused before answering.

“A few years. After college I just kinda packed up and moved to NYC. Then I bounced around from job to job. I’ve kept in touch. Phone calls, texts, stuff like that. Just because I’m so busy at work I never have had the time to go see them.”

“They must know working for one of the largest companies in the world, right? I mean it’s like working at Amazon or something.” You only pursed your lips in response.

“I kind of maybe never told them.” You quietly admitted.

“What? Why not?”

“Well, when everything went down you and Steve and the accords, he decided to write The Avengers off as big show and that you should be working with the government or not at all.”

“Ohhhhhhhh…boy…” Bucky said. He leaned back in his seat. “This just got a little more interesting.”

“Yeeeep.” You replied. Bucky was quiet for a moment. Then he turned back to you.

“Guess that means I just have to show them that I’m the best boyfriend ever.”

“Well, we’ve got three and a half hours to kill. And first class comes with a Christmas movie channel. Bet we can fit a couple in while we get to know each other.” You suggested.

“Sounds good to me, doll.” He said. You turned on the little screen and turned to the channel. You and Bucky put one earbud in but left the other out so you could talk.

“Oh great, ‘Love Actually’ is on.” You said and you looked at Bucky who had a cute smirk on his face.”

“Never pegged you as the type.” He remarked.

“Eh, gotta break up the action and comedies with a little sappiness. At least at Christmas.”

The two of you spent the next hour and a half discussing the details of your relationship while also making sure you knew enough about each other to make it convincing. But surprisingly, that seemed to be even easier than expected. Bucky already seemed to know your favorite foods, movies, and even one or two of your guilty pleasures. And of course, you already knew his. After talking for a while, Bucky held up his flesh hand. You looked at him, confused.

“What’s that for?” you asked.

“Well, we gotta figure out the comfiest way to hold hands. Have to make sure it looks natural if it’s going to fool everyone.” He smiled. You felt your face heat up a bit and prayed he wouldn’t notice.

You picked up your hand and gently lowered it onto his. Warmth. Before his hand even closed around yours you could feel how warm he was.

“Wow, did Shuri install a furnace into that arm of yours?” you joked. He laughed softly.

“No, I’ve always been that way. And the super soldier serum only amplifies it.” He squeezed your hand but that didn’t feel right, or very comfortable so instead you wriggled your hand a little bit and intertwined your fingers, his thumb on top of yours. They fit…

“Perfect.” Bucky said, his voice sounding a little huskier. You looked up at him and thought you saw his pupils start to dilate as he smiled big. But before you could say anything, the seatbelt light started to ding and you knew you’d be descending soon.

Once you grabbed your _matching_ bags (Bucky had surprised you the day before your trip and outwardly you told him it was the perfect touch, but internally you thought it was so disgustingly sweet you were sure you’d have diabetes.) you went out to the parking lot where the rental car Tony had thrown in “just in case you two need an emergency escape” was parked

From there it was about an hour’s drive to the house in the woods, an hour filled with Christmas music and marveling at the surrounding scenes, already bathed in white snow. The sun had just been starting to set when you had landed and now it was plenty dark outside and everywhere you drove seemed illuminated with lights and the magic of the season. The small town outside the woods truly looked like it had emerged from a Norman Rockwell painting, but as you headed out of the town and into the woods, Bucky said

“Gee, sure hope I can find this place.”

“Oh, trust me, you’ll know it when you see it.” You said with a grin. A little further into the woods, you started to see the lights and you directed Bucky down one more turn. Then he saw it. You were right when you said it was bigger than a cabin, more like a lodge. But the decorations were truly a sight to behold.

He counted no less than 4 good size inflatable decorations, not to mention the manger scene, but there was also a Santa Claus, Mrs. clause, and frosty. A mini light display projected snowflakes onto the front of the house while lights shimmered from the windows to imitate icicles. Even the path up to the front door had candy canes lighting the way.

“I’m surprised our plane didn’t try to land here.” Bucky said.

“I was slightly worried they’d mistake the landing lights for Santa as the runway lights.” You joked. Bucky looked up and saw yes, there were red and green runway lights on the roof.

“Damn. You guys really go out, don’t you?”

“This is just the outside. Just you wait.” He pulled into the driveway and the two of you sat there.

“I guess this is it.” You commented. Bucky took your hand and gave it a squeeze.

“You can do it, and you’ll have one of Earth’s mightiest heroes by your side to do it.”

“Thanks. Are you nervous?”

“(y/n), I was a trained assassin for almost a century, I was sent to the soul realm for 5 years, and I helped take down a giant purple space dictator…I am absolutely terrified” and the two of you laughed as you felt the knot in your stomach unfurl.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

As you walked up to the front door, your palms felt sweaty and the knot that moments ago was gone had now wound itself back up. You were about to tell Bucky you should just cancel the whole thing and go back to the compound when your mother opened the door

“We were just wondering what was taking…” she paused when she saw who you were standing with. “(y/n) …is this…?” she seemed too stunned to even finish her question.

“Hi mom. This is James Buchanan Barnes. My boyfriend.” You said, smiling wide as you actually said it out loud. And you couldn’t help but notice that Bucky’s smile was just as wide as yours. Your mother was still frozen in the doorway from shock so you cleared your throat. “Can we come in?” She shook her head as if waking from a daze and stepped back. Your father was sat in the living room by the front door watching the news. Currently spouting something about the liberal agenda because someone wanted to put a menorah on their desk out in an office. You internally rolled your eyes and made your way inside.

“Is that the kid and her friend?” your dad asked, not looking away from the tv.

“Yep.” Your mom said, her tone flat as a board. Your dad turned to look and squinted for a moment but when he realized who was standing behind you, his eyes widened.

“Aren’t you…isn’t that…?” Your dad stammered.

“Dad, meet James Buchanan Barnes. One of Earth’s mightiest heroes…and my boyfriend.” Again, saying it again brought such a warm glow to your face. Your dad stood up immediately.

“But…I mean…how…” your dad said.

“I was just trying to ask myself those same questions too, dear.” Your mom chimed in.

“Well, I know it’s been a couple years since I’ve seen you.”

“Now we know why,” your mom said, making a joke but with a slight tone to it.

“No, I know. Work has just been insane. But it’s great. I love my jobs. I love my coworkers.” You said and chuckled. Your mom did smile at that.

“Well, I supposed there’s time for questions and queries. We were going to text you to meet us at the restaurant. Your father wanted to go out for dinner.”

“Oh, well alright. We rented a car. So, we can just meet you there,” you suggested.

“Great.”

A few minutes later you and Bucky were in the car.

“Well, that could’ve gone worse.”

“Your mom made jokes, that’s a good sign. This could be fun. Plus, your dad is going to pay for dinner, right?”

“Probably.”

“I think this is going to be a great week, doll.

“I do too.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Parents...and then...a surprise at home

The drive to the restaurant gave you and Bucky a few minutes to breathe.

“Well, that was interesting.” you started.

“That’s a word for it, doll.” Bucky laughed. “Guess it could’ve gone worse.”

“It’s not just you. Like I said, I haven’t seen them in a few years. And they didn’t know the guest I was bringing was my super soldier ‘boyfriend’.” You paused for a moment, then started to laugh. “My dad’s face though…priceless.”

“Seriously thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull.” The radio station started playing Holiday by Lil Nas X and you couldn’t help but sing along and dance a little bit in your seat. Bucky shook his head.

“You know, in my day, Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby” was what we called Christmas music.” Bucky noted

“We still call it that too, but we call some other things Christmas music as well. You also wanna complain about the economy and the thermostat?” You teased, sticking your tongue out. After a moment, Bucky took one hand off the wheel and you thought (read: hoped, begged, prayed) he was gunna put his hand on your thigh…but instead he turned the temperature in the car up just a notch.

“It **_IS_** a bit cold in here.”

Your parents had actually chosen one of the nicest steakhouses in the area. And the smell was making your mouth water. You felt Bucky’s metal hand brush against yours and looked at him.

“Thought it would be best if we walked in holding hands.” He said.

“Works for me.” You took his hand in yours shivering slightly at the way the cool vibranium felt against you.

The restaurant, though, felt like it was bathed in warmth and Christmas as a beautiful fireplace housed a roaring fire with a magnificent tree illuminating the foyer. A hostess led you over to where your parents were waiting at a nice booth table. You let Bucky sit on the outside.

“So…there is obviously a story here…” your mom started after you had put in drink orders (Bucky, despite not really being able to get drunk, ordered the strongest whiskey he could)

“Yeah I mean. The last you really told us about your life was just that you were working as a paralegal at some big firm, but never told us the name.” your dad said.

“Well, about that. I’ve actually been working at Stark Industries. Which is kind of how we met.” You explained. “But I know dad’s feelings on Tony and The Avengers.” Your father interjected immediately.

“It’s nothing against Mr. Stark. I think he’s a brilliant business man. I just think he and the rest of his friends…” your father gave a quick glance to Bucky. “…try to act like rules don’t apply to them.” You saw Bucky tense but release a breath.

“Mr. (Y/L/N), that’s not true. Tony was first to sign the Accords to try and work with the UN. It was partially my fault Cap did not want to sign. But we’ve changed things, a lot. Especially after what happened with, you know.” Bucky explained. Your father still seemed on the offensive, but seemed ready to back down for the moment.

“Well, you’re a man on the inside. So, I guess I can take your word for now. But I’m hoping to see better things in the future.” Your father said. After a tense moment of silence, your mother piped up “So how DID you meet?”

You and Bucky had decided to tell them the real story about how you had actually started working closely with Tony on a few cases, then slowly gotten to be-friend him and slowly made friends with the whole team. One night after a movie night and sleeping over at the compound, you’d found Bucky having trouble with the Keurig and you’d helped him. From there you two had developed a real friendship as you’d also helped him with his phone, and slowly started introducing him to modern pop culture. But you embellished and turned the story into the ultimate meet-cute; despite it never going beyond friendly hugs.

“Aw.” Your mom in a playful tease.

“Yes, I’ll call hallmark and sell them the rights.” Your father joked.

“Eh, I’d rather call Hulu.” Bucky said and you all laughed.

As dinner continued, your parents asked you questions about your work

“So, how did you finally get the money to complete your paralegal certification?” your mom asked.

“Well, I was working in Marketing for a while. Paid pretty good money but just wasn’t what I wanted to do. Thankfully I only had to do that for a year.” 

“Well just don’t do that too much. You don’t want to look non-committal and you don’t have a great job history to start with.” Your dad said.

“No, I know. I mean I’ve been at stark for 3 years. I like it.” You noticed Bucky’s leg starting to bounce. You knew that was a sign he was starting to tense up. You turned to look at him but he was still smiling, happily enjoying his steak. Though his face seemed to look a little pale.

“You alright, sweetie?” you asked and he nodded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah, just a little…it’s a little crowded in here.” He explained

“You want to step outside?” You offered, but he shook his head.

“No no, I’m alright.” You put your hand on his thigh and he instantly seemed to relax, the color returning to his face. He turned to you and smiled.

“Thank you, sweetie.” He said and before you knew what he was doing he leaned over and pressed his lips against yours. it lasted for only a second or two, but it was a second or two you would remember until the day you died. Buck cleared his throat and pulled you down to Earth

“My apologies. I just have some PTSD from…my past.” Bucky explained, not wanting to embellish too much.

“No, it’s alright, I understand actually. I’m a vet myself.” Your dad said

“Really?”

“Yeah, after 9/11, well, I felt like I had a responsibility. Plus, I was between jobs and we needed a source of steady income. I was 30, a bit on the older side but you do what you gotta do. I was just inventory. Unfortunately, in 2014 I damn near broke my back moving supplies. Military gave me a medical discharge. But I still saw some things over there…” your father trailed off.

After a pause, Bucky responded, “Well, I appreciate what you did sir.” After that, your father and Bucky got a little friendlier, trading a couple war stories and talking about stuff from the 40s that your father had inherited from his father.

As dinner and came to a close your father said “You know, Bucky. You do seem like a nice man. Just glad you guys met at the right time. Trust me, when (y/n) was younger, she was…going through a rough time. I mean she was anxious, worried all the time, really just fell apart at everything. Heck, I remember once she called me in college in tears over something small and stupid…” but your father didn’t get to finish as suddenly Bucky’s metal arm came down on the table…hard. Hard enough to dent and crack the table. Bucky’s eyes widened.

“I’m…I’m so sorry…it just must’ve been a faulty circuit.” Bucky said. You both immediately apologized to the manager of the establishment, whom, to his credit, was actually quite amused with the situation. He turned out to be a fan of the Avengers and Bucky offered to pay for the table.

On the way back to the house, you gave Bucky a concerning look.

“I’ve never seen your arm act up like that.” You commented.

“I told you, must’ve just been a short circuit. I’ll talk to Shuri after the holidays. She’s got enough on her plate right now.” You weren’t entirely convinced, but he didn’t want to seem to push the issue further, so you let it go.

Once you got back to the house again, Bucky insisted on carrying the bags in the house and up to your old room where you two would be staying. Before going upstairs, your mom pulled you aside and quietly said

“I love you. He seems nice. But your father and I REALLY don’t need or want to hear anything.” You heard a slight creak and looked over to see Bucky gripping the hand railing tightly. You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t worry mom, I promise you won’t.” you explained.

“Well, this is it.” You opened the door to the small room, which definitely felt smaller. But it also presented a problem. There was only one twin sized bed.

“Right. Forgot about that part.”

“I can sleep on the floor if you want, doll. I’ve slept in worse.”

“You certainly will not. We’re two grown adults. We can share a bed together; no different than a mission, right?”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Though, I think sharing a bed with you is a bit nicer than Steve. Punk talks in his sleep.” You laughed at that and went into the bathroom to change for bed. You were sharing a bed with him. Holy shits. You’d forgotten that you only had a twin bed in your room. You weren’t sure whether you were excited or nervous or some combination of both. But you were sharing a bed with Bucky Barnes.

When you emerged from the bathroom, you found Bucky standing in just a pair of black sweatpants and tank top.

“Well those are some cute jammies, doll.”

“Why thank you.” You said, climbing into the bed, You and Bucky were nested quite close together. With just enough room for the both of you. You yawned and rested your head on the pillow.

“You tired already?”

“Yeah just, all the travel, coming home, dinner. Just kinda all catching up with me. Plus, we’re decorating the tree tomorrow morning.” You yawned again and felt your eyes closing.

“That’s fine. I might stay up a bit, read something, I brought headphones so maybe watch a movie.’ He turned to look at you, but you were already softly snoring. Without another word, Bucky pulled the blanket up around you, before going back to tapping away on his iPad.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tree Decorating, and a Christmas Carnival!

The next morning, as you slowly awoke, you were aware that you were perfectly comfortable. The blankets were wrapped around you tight, the mattress was heavenly soft, and Bucky’s warm arm was wrapped around you… **WAIT.**

Your eyes shot open and looked down. Bucky’s arm was wrapped tightly around you, and you could feel his chest against your back. Before you could even start to think of what to do, Bucky shifted behind you and pulled away his arm, sitting up in the bed.

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). It must’ve just happened sometime in the night.” He explained. “I’m really really sorry.” But the initial shock wore off and gave way to happiness. Your face heated up a little and you smiled.

“No no, it’s alright honest.” You chuckled nervously. 

“I didn’t tell you this…but one-night Sam and I were on a mission and we woke up VERY tightly embraced because of the cold.” The two of you laughed. “What time is it?” he asked. You looked over at your phone.

“Quarter of 8. I suppose we should get up.” You slowly got up.

“Any idea what will be on the agenda for the day, doll?”

“Most likely tree decorating. And I wonder if the town is doing the Christmas carnival.” You said.

“Well, those both sound fun, but I need coffee first.” Bucky said.

“Don’t worry, me too.” You replied but Bucky lightly scoffed. You turned to him to see a small smirk on his face.

“Yes, Sargent Barnes?” you asked, incredulously

“You don’t drink coffee this time of year. You basically melt a candy bar in a coffee and add some milk and whipped cream on top.” You wanted to be angry at him but knew he was right. Starbucks holiday drinks were a strong weakness of yours. Having no verbal retaliation, you grabbed your pillow and smacked him, maybe a little harder than intentioned. His mouth opened in shock.

“Alright, if that’s the way it’s going to be.” He grabbed his own pillow. You held up your hands to try and stop him, but were no match. Soon, the both of you were caught in a frenzy of pillow whacks to each other. Then, Bucky tossed aside his pillow and really went on the offensive as he wrapped his arms around you and started to tickle your sides.

“Nooo!! Stop!!” you screamed as tears ran down your face with laughter. You struggled against him but quickly as you could believe, Bucky had you pinned down on the bed, straddling on top of you, your faces inches away from each other’s. The two of you were breathing heavily, out of breath not just from the fight” but from the laughing. And just when you thought something…anything…could happen, there came a knock on your door.

“You guys up?” your mom asked through the door. Bucky quickly moved off you.

“Yeah mom.” You called back.

“Your father just went to get the tree. He might need a hand when he gets home with it. Plus, someone has to get the ornaments out of the garage.”

“Okay, just let us get up and dressed and stuff.” You heard your mom’s footsteps head down the hall.

“You guys don’t have a tree yet? Isn’t it a little late?” Bucky asked.

“Actually, there’s a farmer in the next town over. My dad and him have been friends for a while and he reserves a tree for us whenever we come up here.” You explained.

“That’s really cool. Okay, do you mind if I shower first?”

“Nah, go right ahead. Need me to show you how it works?” you offered.

“Nah, I got it. But I’ll yell if I need help.” He gave you a quick wink, then headed into the en suite while you flopped back on the bed. You couldn’t believe what just happened. First, you woke up snuggled against Bucky and then he was on top of you (not to mention with your wrists pinned down!!) and you thought…you almost thought he was going to kiss you. You bit your lip thinking about it. This whole thing made you so happy, but sad at the same time. Because waking up snuggled like that to Bucky…you weren’t sure you wanted to wake up any other way. But you didn’t believe it could ever happen. But you were determined not to let those sad feelings get in the way of the Christmas fun.

Once Bucky had finished in the bathroom and you had freshened up in the shower, you and Bucky headed downstairs.

“They’re not heavy, but you do have to be careful because most of them are fragile.” You said, handing Bucky a plastic tote (red and green, no less) full of ornaments. When your dad did arrive, he called your name, bringing you outside.

“Here, take these.” He said, handing you a tray with coffee cups from the local shop.

“Oh my gosh dad, you’re the best.” You said, taking the tray. “Do you need help taking in the tree?”

“No, it’s good, I’ll just bring it in the front door.” He said.

“Are you sure? Why not just bring the tree in through the back door? it’s the most direct, plus you can put the base on the tree on the deck.” You said, recalling a Christmas where your dad had tried to bring the tree through the front door.

“No, I’ll bring it in the front door and put it on the base there.” Your dad insisted.

“I don’t think it’ll fit,” you started but your dad cut you off.

“Just take the coffees inside. I’ll handle it.” He said, his tone becoming gruff.

“Alright,” you relented. Not wanting to push the issue further. You went back inside and handed one of the coffees to your mom and the other to Bucky. Meanwhile the sounds of your dad struggling with the tree at the front door.

“What’s your dad doing?” Bucky asked.

“Being an idiot as usual.” You said, playing on your phone to try and distract yourself. About 20 minutes later, the back door opened and your dad easily brought the tree in, already attached to its base. You scoffed and rolled your eyes as he brought it into the den.

“Well, we always do the lights on the tree first,” your mom explained. “Easier to get lights on an empty tree than one full of ornaments.”

“Makes sense” Bucky said. Your dad reached into the plastic tote and grabbed a spool of lights. He had gotten only a few lights on when your mom stood up

“Stop, you’re doing it wrong.” She said, trying to take the lights away from him

“How can I be doing it wrong? How is there a wrong way to light a tree?” your father’s voice raised making you tense.

“Because you are!” your mom said, raising her voice. “You’re supposed to wrap from the top but you’re doing it from the bottom.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Your father insisted.

“Yes, it does or there won’t be enough lights and there will be nothing to plug the star into. Plus, you need to do the big strand first cause that’s the one that all the plug-in ornaments go on.” Your mom said, her voice become more agitated. You saw Bucky mouth the words ‘plug in ornaments’ and that made you smile but you still left the room to go out to the kitchen. Bucky followed as the tense tones turned into yelling. You were leaning against the counter

“You alright?” Bucky asked. You sighed

“No, but I’ll survive.” You replied. You pursed your lips. “This is why I really needed someone to come with me. For so many years I had to endure _this…_ ” you gestured towards the living room “…alone.”

“I’m sorry, doll. Couldn’t have been easy.”

“No, it really wasn’t. It got better over the years but I just…I don’t know. There’s still things that always set the two of them off.” You said. “To be honest, Christmas was actually probably the only time they DIDN’T fight.” You were silent for a moment while the contrast happened. “Well, except this.” You two were quiet for a few moments. Suddenly, Bucky wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close in a tight hug. And you wrapped your arms around him in turn as a few tears ran down your face.

Not too long after, the fighting stopped as your mom took over light duties and you moved on to the actual ornaments. Your mom sat down and pulled the ornaments out of the totes, carefully unpackaging them from their individual wrappings and handing them to you and Bucky and occasionally your dad (who had become more invested in whatever was on tv). Though, your family’s ornaments weren’t always the most traditional. There was a mix of Disney, Star Wars, Star Trek, even a Dr. Suess one or 2. And you took great delight in showing him a Charlie Brown ornament that plugged into the light strand and quoted the famous tv special. But the one that caught Bucky’s attention was…

“Oh my god, is this a Captain America ornament?” Indeed it was; a small chibi figure of Steve that your mom had purchased one year.

“Shut up. He’s my mom’s favorite. And she bought that LONG before I met any of you.”

“It’s cute, doll…but I’m never gunna let you live it down.” Bucky replied, already pulling out his phone to take a picture. While you covered your face with your hands, hoping the floor would swallow you instead.

Soon enough, the tree was decorated and aglow with ornaments of all shapes and sizes, even a few VERY old ones that gave a certain twinkle to Bucky’s eye. Nostalgia? Cheer? Whatever it was, Bucky seemed to glow with it for the rest of the day. Especially whenever he looked at you. The two of you just kind of hung around and watched Christmas movies while listening to your father complain about how “modern Christmas movies ruin Christmas” and how “the girl at the coffee shop said happy holidays.” You let out a deep sigh, deciding not to push back or say anything; which was a lot easier to do when Bucky took your hand and squeezed it.

That night though, was much better. Your parents decided to sit out the carnival, citing the cold and long day but you were so excited.

“The carnival was always my favorite part of Christmas up here. It’s nothing too big or fancy, but it was always just so fun!” you explained on the drive.

“It sounds great, and definitely not like what we had in the 40s. There was a botanical garden that had a beautiful ice sculpture display but that was it.”

“That sounds nice too. I love all the lights and music and everything but sometimes, the nice quiet stuff is good too.” You said. And then, as appropriate, the two of you sat in quiet, just letting Nat King Cole sing about roasting chestnuts on a fire. And it was nice.

When you pulled up to the carnival, you were instantly awash in nostalgia and childhood memories. The lights from the carnival twinkled bright and in what seemed like a thousand different colors.

“Wow.” You and Bucky were both amazed; the excitement fending off the cold as you waited in line for tickets.

Once you were actually inside, the joy only increased.

“It’s just like I remember.” You said.

“Well, where do you want to start?” Bucky asked, and you weren’t actually sure. But the attention of laughing and yelling drew your attention. When you turned you saw tube sleds going down a big snow hill

“Let’s do that!!” you yelled, dragging him over. The two of you opted for a double tube, with Bucky sitting in the back. You grabbed the handles on the tube, expecting Bucky to grab the back ones. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you.

“Is this okay, just seems more fun.” Bucky said and your voice was caught in your throat, but you nodded. “Okay, 3…2…1…GO!” You both leaned forward, sliding down the hill. The cold air whipped past your face and you laughed as you went down, but mostly, you loved the feelings of Bucky’s arms wrapped tight around you.

“That was great!” Bucky said as you two climbed out of the sled. “Can we go again?” he asked excitedly.

“Absolutely!” At least 5 more times, the two of you went down the hill, laughing and yelling like children.

“Now what?” You asked as the two of you walked around.

“I think a cup of hot chocolate sounds great right about now.” Bucky said, and your stomach growled in agreement.

“There used to be this great burger stand. Let’s see if we can find it.” You said, tugging him along. You passed by a table where a woman was selling beautiful handcrafted jewelry. And a necklace caught your eye. A silver chain with a flower made of blue stones that sparkled under the twinkling lights.

“Wow,” you said under your breath. Unfortunately, the woman only accepted cash; so, you made a note to yourself to try and find an ATM. But you did happen to find the burger stand, with a cocoa one conveniently right next to it. The two of you sat and ate.

“Damn, this is probably one of the best burgers I’ve had in years.” Bucky said.

“I’m glad. I’m also glad the nostalgia hasn’t worn off and I’m still having fun. Anything you’d like to do next?” you asked

“Well, that Ferris wheel looks kind of nice.” Bucky said.

“Sounds lovely. I bet we can see the whole festival from the top.” You tossed your burger wrapper in the trash and headed towards the giant wheel.

Once you two were situated on the (COLD) bench, the attendant closed the gate and you started your ascension.

“Having fun?” Bucky asked and you nodded.

“Yes! So much!” You said.

“Good, I’m glad.” Bucky said, settling back in his seat. The two of you reached the top and you were right, you could see almost the whole festival. But up in the air, especially in an open seat, the wind was whipping and making it colder.

“You cold, doll?” Bucky asked.

“A little bit.” You admitted

“C’mere.” You scooched closer to Bucky, instantly feeling warmer, with his body helping shield the wind. Not to mention the warmth you felt from just being here…with him. That alone made you feel as warm as on a summer’s day.

Once you two were back on the ground, you decided to walk around more, trying to find an ATM. Finally, you did…right next to the “Santa’s Flight” ride. Everyone stood in a circle as the giant metal cage spun round and round…before it eventually lifted into the air almost completely sideways!!

“Wow! That sure looks like a heck of a ride!” Bucky said, getting in line.

“Uhm, I don’t know…” you said. “It’s a little high…and fast…and sideways.”

“C’mon doll, it’ll be fun!” Bucky said. You almost wanted to say no…but the way his eyes were sparkling and his face glowing…you decided to swallow your fear and get in line with him.

Thankfully once you got on the ride, you found there was a thick belt, but you still felt anxious. Bucky stood next to you which did help a lot as well. Just as the ride was about to start, Bucky offered you his metal hand.

“I can switch to the other side, if you want.” He offered. But something about holding onto Bucky’s solid hand made you feel more secure.

“I’m not gunna freeze, am I?”

“Eh, only if you lick it.” He joked, making the anxiety fade away as you gripped his hand tight. The ride began to spun faster and faster, making you cling to the wall, but Bucky still held on to your hand tight. And as the ride lifted into the air, Bucky squeezed your hand, and suddenly the fear was going, and you felt like you were flying! You laughed and yelled as you actually put your feet up on the wall behind you.

“That was so much fun!” you yelled as you both got off the ride.

“Definitely a lot more fun than riding the cyclone with Steve.” Bucky joked.

“C’mon, there’s one more thing I wanna do! Then I think I’d like to head out. It’s getting late.” You said.

“Works for me. Though I am in need of the restroom.” Bucky said. While he was in the bathroom, you stopped at the woman’s table from before… but the necklace was gone. Your face fell as the woman apologized, explaining someone else had bought it. The woman tried to offer something else but there wasn’t really anything that caught your eye as much.

“You okay?” Bucky asked once he re-joined you,

“Yeah just…something I wanted got bought.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.” Bucky said.

“It’s alright. I bet I can find one online” you said, and kept leading Bucky over. The two of you walked past a shooting game booth, and hanging from the top was probably the biggest teddy bear you’d ever seen.

“Wow.” You stopped and stared. You were about to keep going, but Bucky was already over at the booth, slapping down a $10. “Bucky, don’t bother. All those games are rigged.”

“Maybe so, but you’re talking to the best sniper the Howling Commandos ever had.” He said, adjusting the bee-bee gun under his arm. And true to his word, he shot a perfect star into the target, winning you the large bear.

“Holy crap…Bucky! Thank you so much!”

“Of course. What kind of ‘boyfriend’ would I be if I didn’t win my girl a bear?” _My girl_ … those words made you want to squeal but instead you just clutched the bear tighter.

Finally, you arrived at the entry way of a beautiful…

“An ice sculpture garden?” Bucky asked in awe.

“Yeah, I saw it from the top of the Ferris wheel. And you told me that story about back in the 40’s, so I thought…” you trailed off but Bucky took your hand.

“It’s perfect, doll.” The two of you walked around, admiring the beautiful sculptures. The speakers blasting Christmas music weren’t as loud here, giving you two a nice quiet moment under the clear, moonlit sky.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowed in, then shopping! (SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER!! Consider it a preview of….what’s to come ;) )

It snowed for the next 2 days. Which was good and bad. Good because since your parents had groceries delivered to the house already, your mom was able to cook up a storm for the family Christmas party. Bad because, well you were snowed in with your parents. Thankfully, you DID have a little work left to do (some favors owned from obtaining Bucky’s present) and that kept you occupied for a while. But there’s only so much clerical work one person can do. Especially when the world seems on pause for the holidays. Bucky had brought a few books with him, but you were surprised to find out how fast he read. By the end of day one, he’d already read through his books and was halfway through re-reading them.

“Back in the day, there wasn’t a lot to do on base while waiting for orders. Radio, some guys liked to play cards, but me, I preferred a good novel.” He explained. Eventually, the two of you turned to the massive stack of Board games stashed away in the closet. Some of which Bucky’s eyes lit up at familiarity.

“Wow, where’d you get all these games?” he asked.

“When I still lived at home, my parents and I LOVED going to yard sales, flea markets, anything like that and scooping up old board games.” No surprise, the first game Bucky reached for was Monopoly.

“This was mine and Steve’s favorite game to play.” He said. The two of you invited your dad to play, after seeing if your mom needed any help, but she was cooking up a storm in the kitchen while playing Christmas movies on her iPad.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with games (with Bucky winning Monopoly more times than you could count) and Christmas movies on tv. But through the gameplay, you noticed something about Bucky. He was smiling and seemed to be having fun, but you could tell something was bothering him. He spaced out twice, miscounted the money, and seemed in general to be a million miles away. You kept your hand on his for the most part, but it seemed like every time you touched him, something in his eyes turned sad.

That evening, once your mom had finished cooking and you all were playing the game of life, Bucky got up and headed to the kitchen, citing something about needing a drink

You followed Bucky into the kitchen. He stood by the counter, his eyes seeming, haunted and angry in a way. You could hear the metal platelets in his arm move as he fidgeted.

“Bucky?” He turned to you, as if only really knowing you were in the same house for the first time, let alone the same room. “Are you alright?”

He was quiet, and for a second you could almost see the shadow of the Winter Soldier.

“We never really had this kind of thing in the 40s. Family Christmas, games, all that. Especially not with the depression. Steve’s ma worked, so he spent the day at our place, and it was nice. My ma worked hard to be able to make Christmas the best day of the year. And somehow, she always pulled it off. Then, when Steve and I got older, we would go to the movies to see a film. The REAL classics. Not ‘Robbie the Reindeer.’” he mocks.

“Hey,” you protested “Robbie IS a classic. At least to me. What do you consider a ‘classic’? And I swear to Christ, if you say ‘ _Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner’_ I will “break up” with you right now in front of my parents.” You joked, playfully shoving him.

“Nah, doll. That was a little before my time. I’m talking about real classics. You know, _Christmas Carol_ with Reginald Owen, _Holiday Inn_ and oh, I remember seeing _It’s a Wonderful Life_ on premiere day.” Bucky smiled with nostalgia. But that smile didn’t last long as his eyes darkened again.

“Maybe I never had this because I didn’t deserve it…not after everything I did. Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d never been born.” He said. Btu you took his face in your hands

“Bucky no! You listen to me and you listen well. In the last 3 years, you’ve done better and sacrificed more than enough to wipe out the things you’ve done.” You looked into Bucky’s eyes, like the sea after the storm. A calm seemed to wash over him but you could still see…something. Something hidden.

You let go of his face then took his hands in yours. “I think you needed this.” You started. “I know if you sat around the compound, even if Steve and Sam and Nat were there, I worry you’d sit and just…” you didn’t want to say it

“Think about Tony.” He finished. Then you both were quiet.

“Tony…he’s not mad at you anymore.” You said. “He’s still…it’s…a bad time for him, yes. But ever since Morgan was born and he took Peter under his wing, he’s been healing. He took all his anger and hurt and put into loving his family. And that includes you. You, Steve, The Avengers, you’re all one big family.”

“Hey, you’re part of that family too.” Bucky said. You pursed your lips.

“Bucky, I know what you’re trying to do. But…it’s okay. I promise. I’m okay.” You squeezed his hands. Bucky was away to say something but at that moment your mother walked in.

“Can you guys do me a favor, not tonight cause the roads are still a mess, but tomorrow morning, can you run some errands for me? I need a few more things to finish my baking.”

“No problem! In fact, a little Christmas shopping and time out of the house sounds just like what Bucky and I need.” You said. “Plus, I just realized I forgot to get a Yankee Swap gift.”

“Yankee Swap?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah. Basically, everyone gets a gift and wraps it up and we put it under the tree. Then, we all pick a number out of a hat and everyone takes their turn choosing a gift from under the tree. After you unwrap it, you can either trade your gift or steal someone else’s. It’s so much fun!” You explained.

“Sounds like it. Yeah, we can handle the shopping Mrs. (y/l/n).”

“Thank you both. I’m heading to bed. Goodnight.”

“Oh mom! Were there any marshmallows left over from your baking?”

“In the cabinet.” Your mom called back as she headed to her room. You let out a little “yay!” and grabbed the marshmallows and some skewers before dragging Bucky to the fireplace in the living room.

“C’mon, nothing like roasting marshmallows by the fire.” You said.

“I can attest to that.” Bucky said, sitting next to you. While the marshmallows toasted, you leaned your head on Bucky’s shoulder; while he reached over to the nearby couch and grabbed a blanket, wrapping around the both of you. With both your parents gone to their room for the night, the house was quiet and dark. It was perfect.

“To be honest, I’m really kinda glad you agreed to this. I know if I hadn’t asked, I’m sure you and Steve would have gotten up to something stupid and dangerous.” Bucky chuckled in response.

“You’re probably right, doll.”

“But instead, you’re here, roasting marshmallows, going to carnivals, doing cute things. And not burning down the compound.”

“Yeah, thank you. For giving me a shot at a normal Christmas.” Bucky said, putting his arm around you. The two of you were quiet, before you spoke up.

“You know, you said you and Steve used to go to the movies, right?” you asked, pulling your now on fire marshmallow away from the fireplace. You gently blew on it to put the flames out

“Yeah, why?” Bucky asked.

“Well, if I remember my LGBT+ history, wasn’t ‘going to the movies’ code for two gay people going on a date?” You joked. Bucky looked at you funny, but instead of saying anything back, he leaned over and took a bite out of your marshmallow.

The two of you planned to get up early so you had time to go shopping before the party. Bucky was always an early riser, that much definitely hadn’t changed during the 40s. So, it was no surprise you awoke to the shower already running. What did surprise you was the groans you heard coming from the bathroom. 

“Fuck…Fuuuuck…. yes…” you groggily sat up in bed.

“Bucky?” you said, slightly worried he was hurt. You moved as quickly as you could for first thing in the morning and headed over to the door that was open just a crack. You didn’t want to invade his privacy, you just wanted to make sure he was okay. You quietly peaked through and there you saw something you never would’ve imagined seeing all your life. Bucky, standing fully nude in the shower, his back to you. His metal arm leaning against the wall, while his flesh one…oh my… You covered your mouth to keep any noise from escaping. Bucky was masturbating in your shower. Holy crap.

You weren’t sure how to react. IT was a mix of excitement, but underneath, a small pang of jealousy. Even though he wasn’t yours, he was pretending to be, right? But instead, he was jerking off while probably thinking of some other girl. But you did your best to push that aside and just feel the excitement. Bucky’s back was as muscular as you’d always imagined, and you could faintly make out some scars, which only tugged at your heart strings more. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more exciting, he turned just enough that you could just the end of his cock, his hand gripping it tightly while stroking. You were sure your lip was bleeding from how hard you were biting, trying so hard not make a noise.

Not wanting to get caught, you quietly shuffled over back to your dresser and pulled out a warm fuzzy sweater and some jeans, quickly dressing while Bucky finished…his shower.

“Okay, text me a list mom. We shouldn’t be too long.” You said, once Bucky had…finished…and gotten dressed. And the two of you were off.

“You know, we’re going to Walmart just a few days before Christmas, we might be declared insane.”

“Eh, I’m sure a super-soldier slash former assassin and the best paralegal I’ve met can fend off a few angry shoppers.”

“And what does being a paralegal have to do with fending off shoppers?”

“Simple, just use your legal knowledge to intimidate people.”

“Uh huh, suuuuure.” You said, rolling your eyes. However, your early morning planning had worked out somewhat. The parking lot was slowly filling up, but you were still able to find a space close to the door.

“Okay, I figure we’ve got roughly 30 minutes before this place becomes a madhouse. My mom needed eggs, milk, butter, and cinnamon. And then we need a yankee swap gift. Any ideas?” you asked, starting to make your way through the small crowds forming to get to the grocery section

“Well, I had an idea, but I don’t want you to think I’m a narcissist or anything.”

“What is it?”

“How about…a Bucky Barnes action figure _SIGNED_ by Bucky Barnes himself.” Bucky flashed that perfect smile of his and how could you refuse?”

“I think that’s great! Just don’t be surprised if you see it on eBay tomorrow.” You joked, making Bucky laugh.

Quickly grabbing the few groceries, you needed, the two of you made your way to the toy aisle where the insanity seemed at its peak. The two of you were stood by the entire Avengers toy section.

“I know Cap was against you guys licensing your likeness to toys, but I think it’s been one of the best decisions you guys made.” You commented.

“Yeah, he said it reminded him too much of his days in the 40s, being a show monkey. But the first time he saw a kid with a toy shield, his heart melted.”

“Plus, it was the licensing deal that got me hired.” You said

“Really? I didn’t know that!”

“Yeah, I got my start at an IP firm, so originally I was just brought on to consult, but Tony was so impressed with me that he hired me full time.”

“Wow, I actually didn’t know that. Tell you what, why don’t you pick the action figure?” Your eyes raked over the selection, but then you saw on a top shelf: a Bucky Barnes Funko pop, modelling his hairstyle from when he was in Wakanda, the same one you had at home.

“That one!” you exclaimed happily. Bucky reached up and grabbed it, smiling.

“You know, maybe I should wear my hair like that more.” Bucky joked but inside you were praying for that to happen. “Now what about a yankee swap gift for you, doll?” You thought for a moment

“Tell you what, how about I grab that Captain America Funko, and we submit them together as a couple’s gift.” You suggested.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were implying something.” Bucky winked.

“ _ME_? Implying? Nah. Making gay jokes at the expense of my friends, absolutely!” You laughed as you headed for the checkout.

When the two of you arrived home, you decided to help your mom with the finishing touches for dinner while Bucky wrapped yours and his secret Santa presents. Unfortunately, it turned out that Bucky had the worst wrapping skills on earth.

“Hey, give me a break. Back in the day, we wrapped the pages in newspaper.”

“Yeah, yeah. And you walked uphill both ways in 5 feet of snow butt naked to get to school.” You teased and a quick pinch with a smirk was his only response.

“I’ve got to go shower.” You said, heading upstairs

“Need any help?” Bucky replied. You turned around and Bucky seemed just as shocked with what he just said as you were.

“Uhm…sorry! Just a joke.” He quickly rambled and you felt your face heat up.

“Right, uhm…no I… I think I’m good.” You said before rushing up the rest of the stairs to your room. Holy Crap. What had just happened? Bucky said…but he was joking right? _But what if…_ a tiny voice whispered. But you refused you to listen to that tiny part of you. You couldn’t. Or maybe…you could. Just long enough… You stripped off your clothes and headed for the shower. If Bucky could jerk off in _your_ bathroom while thinking about some girl, you could think about him.

You turned on your shower, then your shower playlist and laughed. The first song that came on was “WAP.” You bit your lip and stepped into the steaming hot water. You took the handheld shower device off the hook and leaned back against the wall. You used one hand to rub at your clit before moving the shower head over it. You closed your eyes and imagined Bucky’s eyes, staring down at you. You could imagine him kissing you, running his hand over your body. You moaned softly as you grinded against the shower head, imagining Bucky’s metal fingers rubbing at your clit, pushing slowly into you.

You weren’t sure how much Bucky talked during sex, but you could certainly imagine him saying all manner of filthy things. _Such a dirty girl_ he’d say. _MY dirty girl_ he’d growl in your ear as he thrust his cock into you. You grinded harder against the showerhead and with the pressure from the water and your pent-up feelings, you knew it wouldn’t take you long to cum. Bucky’s steely gaze on you as his hand wrapped around your thought.

“Oh Fuck! Bucky!” you groaned out as you came. And prayed to whoever was listening that nobody had heard you. You stood there, breathing heavy. Fuck. You cleaned off, then finished your shower. As you did your hair and just a little makeup, you were happy that you’d gotten a little alone time. Especially as you felt your nerves jump, when the doorbell rang. Party time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family Christmas party

For the party, you’d chosen a nice green velvet dress with black wool leggings and black heeled booties. Bucky had chosen a black cashmere sweater with dark jeans. He’d chosen to tie his hair back in a man bun, but hadn’t shaved, giving him a rugged but sophisticated look. And you were once again reminded how truly handsome he was.

“You sure clean up nice, Sargent Barnes.”

“You do as well. Shall we?”

“If we must.” You exited the room and saw your aunt Marie, uncle Michael, and cousin Heather had arrived with her husband Jared.

“Ohhh boy.” You said under your breath.

“What’s up?”

“My cousin Heather. She was always a snob growing up and it only got worse. Her husband works for some high-power executive. Big money.”

“Ahh, well, I think I saw your mom whipping up a batch of rum punch.” Bucky offered

“Thank god for small miracles.” You said, descending the stairs.

“Merry Christmas!” You exchanged warm hugs and kisses and stepped back. “This is my boyfriend, Bucky. You might recognize him maybe?” you said. You didn’t want to directly say he was an avenger and brag, but maybe just wanting to rub it…just a little.

“Oh yes! You’re that man who works with Captain America!” Marie said, making you and Bucky laugh.

“That would be me. Bucky Barnes, ma’am. Nice to meet you.” He said offering a handshake but she pulled him in for a warm hug.

“If you’re dating (y/n), you’re family.” She said, then introduced your uncle Mike who gratefully shook Bucky’s hand and thanked him for all he’d done, making Bucky truly smile. Then Heather stepped forward, not bothering to introduce her husband but going right to the point.

“So, you and (y/n) are dating? I’d LOVE to hear the story.” She said, looking at you. Bucky stepped forward, almost shielding you.

“We met at work. (y/n) works for Stark Industries. I’m sure you’ve heard of Tony Stark.” He said, his voice getting a littler firmer. Something in you felt a little warmer and brighter at Bucky standing up for you like this. Heather seemed to back down, for now.

“Well, I’m so _happy_ for you,” she practically hissed. After a moment of awkward silence, her husband coughed and introduced himself, also shaking Bucky’s hand and thanking him for the work he’s done. Bucky smirked “A duty and an honor sir.” He said, seeming to ignore the daggers Heather was glaring. The two of them went more into the house, leaving you and Bucky alone.

“How strong is that rum punch, doll?”

“Probably not strong enough for you, Buck.” You joked.

More and more guests arrived; family, friends, some neighbors from the area whom your parents had made friends with. Soon the house was teaming with voices, laughter, and music. But the best moment was when your uncle Kevin arrived with his wife Jane and your 7-year old cousin, Tyler. Instantly, the young boy was on Bucky, his eyes widening at the metal arm and marvelling even more at having a real-life superhero here. He proceeded to ask Bucky no less than 1000 questions about not only himself, but the rest of the Avengers.

“Is Cap’s shield really unbreakable?”

“Almost. It took a giant from space to break it.”

“Does Spiderman really stick to walls?”

“The walls, the ceiling, even the hulk’s arm.”

“Can you lift Thor’s hammer?” This made Bucky pause. And that haunted look came back to his eyes for a moment before he smiled.

“You know, I’ve never tried. But I’ll let you know.” Bucky said. While Bucky was interviewed extensively, you told the story of how you met to the few guests who’d asked. All the while, Heather listened, her eyes narrowed.

“So, you two have been dating for a year and a half, but no ring?” She spoke up finally. “Jared and I were engaged after only 9 months.” She bragged. But the smile never left your face.

“We’ve discussed it,” you lied smoothly. “But we’re waiting just a little longer because of Bucky’s hectic work life.”

“I imagine he can’t be home much.” Heather said. You clenched your jaw, knowing what she was trying to say, but you weren’t going to let her.

“I knew when we got together what I was committing to,” your eyes went to Bucky, still involved in a q&a session. “But it’s worth it. He makes me so happy and even if he’s gone sometimes, he always comes home to me.” You said, speaking truly and smiling. Heather was about to say something before your mom announced the start of dinner.

Your mom had truly gone all out, preparing an immaculate buffet style spread with lasagna, baked mac n cheese, fried chicken, roasted potatoes, a vegetable medley with cheese sauce, a mushroom risotto for vegetarian option, and not to mention countless different appetizers. And for dessert, every type of cookie, cake, candy, all frosted with red and green; more than enough sugar to send everyone into a coma. Bucky’s eyes raked over the tables (your father had gotten out the extra folding table from the garage so there was enough room for all of the food) and said to you,

“Make sure to text Steve and tell him I’m going top need an extra hour at the gym for…at least a month.” He said, making you giggle.

You chose to sit and eat with Bucky on the love seat in the living room, the seats usually occupied by Heather and Jared.

“So, Bucky,” Heather started and you internally rolled your eyes. “You and Captain America seem rather _close_ …” she said, knowing exactly what she was implying.

“Is that a problem?” Bucky asked in return.

“Not at all, I just didn’t know how close you two were compared to you and (y/n).” You clenched your jaw, ready to tell her to fuck off but before you could, Bucky stepped in.

“Steve and I were together, a long time ago. Another lifetime. And we were together briefly in this lifetime, but we had a long talk and now Steve is very happy with his boyfriend. And he’s my best friend.” You were a little in shock. Normally Bucky didn’t like talking about his past relationship with Steve. “Besides,” he continued, taking your hand. “I’m very happy with my own partner.” He kissed the back of your hand, leading to a small ‘aww’ from the rest of the guests.

After supper and a bit more mingling, your mom called everyone into the living room for the yankee swap. She explained the rules briefly, then started around the circle of people.

“Bucky and I submitted a gift as a couple, so we’re going to choose as a couple.” You explained when she got to you.

“Oh okay,” your mom said, offering you the Santa hat full of numbers. You chose a paper, and were the last number; a great pick cause you had your choice of all the presents.

The yankee swap went smoothly. Your dad ending up with a battleship type game but with shot glasses instead of miniature ships, and your mom with a lovely mug. Tyler was the one who ended up with Bucky’s and Cap’s action figures. You pulled your uncle aside and explained if he could convince him to send the action figure to “Santa” for a few days, you could promise a signature from Captain America, which he instantly agreed.

Then finally, it was yours and Bucky’s turn. A square box wrapped in powder blue paper with snowflakes and cartoons of snowmen skiing all over. You found it to be a bit heavy and the clinking inside reminded you of the sound of your mom’s pyrex. You sat back down on the sofa with Bucky as you both unwrapped it. And when you saw it was, you had to laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. Both you AND Bucky were in hysterics. While the rest of your family just stared in confusion. It was a fondue set. A truly lovely one, to be honest.

“Well, you see, when Bucky and Steve were in the army back in the 40s, Steve thought fondue was code for,” you glanced at your younger cousin. “… _dating_.” You said, hoping people would get the message. “So, it’s always just been an inside joke among the team.” You explained. You looked at Bucky and both of you replied

“We’re keeping it.” The number one spot had actually been your younger cousin, and there was a better chance of Loki giving up the tesseract than him giving up those action figures. So the small gathering dispersed. Your aunt came over to you and Bucky.

“I’m glad you two like it.”

“It’s perfect, not even just for the joke but it’s a lovely set. It’ll be a hit at movie night at the compound!” you said.

“Look at you, all grown up and dating a superhero. You seem so happy.” Bucky’s metal hand intertwined with yours.

“We are.” He said. Your aunt gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to refill her wine glass.

“Let me go get my phone! We can send a picture to the group chat.” You said, heading to the kitchen. But just as you were at the door frame, you heard your cousin Heather talking.

“You don’t think he’s really dating her, do you?” she said and you heard your one of the neighbor’s voice in response.

“They are really happy…” But your cousin shot in

“No way. She’s paying him. I can believe she works at Stark Industries. She was always too smart. But dating an avenger? No way. She has the social grace of a wet mop. And as far as looks go…well…let’s just say she got her father’s genes there. He’s probably just here out of pity. She was always so pitiful, could cry at the drop of a hat…” you couldn’t stand to listen anymore, rushing up the stairs to your room, not stopping to listen to your mom or anyone else. Instead, you sunk onto your bed, crying. A few moments later, you heard the door open and close; you turned to see Bucky standing there and somehow that only made you cry harder. He sat down next to you, wrapping one arm around you.

One your sobs finally started to subside, Bucky asked “What happened? Your dad?” but you shook your head.

“My fucking god damn cunt of a cousin, Heather. That’s what happened She said…” you sniffed; you didn’t want to talk about this with Bucky. Well, you did. But realistically, you couldn’t

“Come on, doll. You can tell me.” Bucky promised, taking your hand, squeezing softly.

“She said…” you sat down on the bed. “She said you were only here with me cause I paid you. Or because of pity.” Both of you were quiet.

“Doll, that’s not true. And you know it.”

“But it is!” you sobbed. “Don’t tell me it’s not! Why are you here? We’re not dating, you don’t like me…” you almost wanted to say ‘I don’t like you.’ But you couldn’t. So instead, you said “You don’t need to be here. What other reason would you but pity?” you said, sobbing into your hands more. The bed shifted as Bucky sat next to you.

“But I do love you, doll.” You looked at Bucky, did…did he say? “You’re one of my best friends I have.” _Oh._ Bucky continued on as you felt your heart truly start to crumble.

“I mean, I love Steve, but Steve didn’t teach me all about the 21st century, Steve didn’t bring me up to Maine, bring to me a Christmas carnival with the most beautiful ice sculpture garden, and let me kick his ass 25 times in a row at monopoly.” You both chuckled. “I love you, (y/n). And I may not be your boyfriend, but I’m always going to have your back.” Bucky brought you fully in for a tight hug.

Inside, everything still hurt. But, you realized, no matter what, Bucky was there for you. He’d been there for you when you needed help moving into an apartment, when work became too much, and he was there when you needed someone to help you survive your family. And maybe…maybe that was enough. You pulled away from the hug to look at him as he wiped your tears away.

“Thank you, Bucky. Thank you so much for being there.”

“Of course, doll. I’ll always be there for you.” Bucky held you a little longer then tapped your shoulder. You looked back up at him and he had a smile that could only be described as looking like The Grinch when he got an idea. A wonderful, awful idea. “You want to make that bitch eat her words?” He asked.

“More than you could ever know.”

“C’mon.” He took your hand, making sure the tears were wiped from your face. And brought you back downstairs where people were chatting and milling about.

“Are you alright?” your mom asked.

“I’m fine, where’s Heather?” you asked.

“Oh, in the living room I think.” She replied and Bucky pulled you over without another word.

The two of you stopped in the doorway and there you two stood under the mistletoe. Bucky coughed, not really trying to get the attention of the whole room, but at least grabbing your cousin’s, and just as you were connecting where this was going, Bucky took your face in his hands and kissed you; deeply and passionately. In the kind of way you think he would if he came home from WWII alive. The way that made every nerve of yours stand on end. The kind that made you realize, even if Bucky would never love you the way you did him, you could go to your grave tomorrow a happy woman that he had kissed you like this. 

Your hands tangled in his hair while his moved down around your waist. His tongue ran against your lips and you were about to let him, but your father coughed and you looked to see that you definitely had EVERYONE’S attention. Your face heated up but not in shame, rather in a very shy way. But what brought a smile to your face was looking at your cousin and practically seeing the flames on the side of her face.

“Well, that concludes tonight’s entertainment portion.” Your father joked and everyone laughed, then resumed as normal.

The party went on for an hour or so longer until group by group the guests filed out. And you made sure to give a VERY warm goodbye to Heather, before shutting the door behind her.

“Seriously Bucky, you could give Loki a run for his money with your trickster ways.” You told him, before the two of you headed upstairs for bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Boiling Point

It was Christmas Eve. What was supposed to be perhaps, the second happiest day of the year for you, was slowly turning into a nightmare. Maybe it was the lack of sleep (Bucky, for all his charms, snored louder than a freight train and he’d kept hogging the blankets), or maybe the migraine from the lack of sleep, but what it really was, was your dad.

All day, he’d been grating. Spending 20 minutes bitching about how some singer and her girlfriend had done a cover of _‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’_ because “it’s supposed to be sung by a couple.” Then he’d tried to pitch a fit about you and Bucky wanting to watch Muppets Christmas Carol, calling it “Too modern.” (Thankfully your mom had shut that down.)

Now as you and her worked on a puzzle, Bucky was watching football with your dad who was trying to make conversation. In the worst way.

“I bet you miss things from your time huh?” your dad asked. Bucky wiggled his hand back and forth some.

“Some things yes. Definitely the price of movies.” He joked.

“Yeah, but I bet there’s other things. Like, when celebrities just shut up and made music, and kept their fucking politics out of everything.” He gestured to the tv where Chris Evans was giving an interview on the news about something political. “Back when celebrities like Eartha Kitt sang Santa, Baby and just went about their business.” You scoffed, but said nothing.

“Well, I mean. Eartha Kitt was a huge activist for LGBT+ community…” Bucky started but your father injected “That was later. I mean in the 40s.”

“Well, I mean. Sort of…” Bucky said. But your dad kept going.

“It’s worse in sports you know. All those football players kneeling and not standing for the flag. It’s a disgrace, am I right? Just like all those thugs going out and rioting.”

“Well, actually I support them. They’re protesting in a way that is not disrespectful, but might make people uncomfortable.” Bucky said firmly. “Besides, I’m a man who trusts a black man with my life. So when he thinks something's wrong in this country, I tend to shut up and listen."

“They should still accept their punishments. They don’t actually want to change anything. They just want to whine about ‘racism’ and pretend they’re better than everyone. Like…what’s his name? T’chaka, or something like that.” The glass in Bucky’s hand cracked ever so slightly.

“T’Challa.” He said, quietly.

“Yeah him. He thought he was so much better than everyone. Hiding such a large amount of technology he could be using to help people. And then what happened? He died of cancer. Karma got his ass. And then he left his drama queen of a sister in charge.” Your dad said. The only thing you heard was the glass smash onto the floor and when you looked up, Bucky standing over your dad, breathing heavily.

“Now you listen here, you fucking shit. That man and his sister have done more to help people than you do to help your own family. His death is not ‘karma.’ Karma is having to be stuck in this hell with you.”

“What are you talking about?” your dad said, you stood up from the couch as Bucky continued.

“For the past week, I’ve watched you make an ass out of yourself and make life hell for your daughter. You’ve belittled her and her work, her feelings, all from the first night I met you. And now you judge and try to put down a man who saved my life and nearly gave his own countless times? Not while I’m around.”

“Well, you know what, I’m sorry you feel that way pal. But here in the united states and not in whatever soviet Russian freezer they let you out of, we’re entitled to our opinions. And I would think twice about threatening me. (y/n)’s boyfriend or not I will have you removed from my household if need be.”

“Dad, knock it off.” You spoke up.

“Shut up, this doesn’t concern you.” Your dad yelled. Bucky stopped between the two of you.

“What the fuck did you just say to her?”

“I’ll say whatever the fuck I want to her. She’s my kid and she’ll respect me or she’ll get the fuck out.”

“You know what? Gladly.” You spoke up, heading to your room and quickly starting to just throw things into your suitcase. How fucking dare he. You always knew your father was a right-wing conservative asshole, but what he’d just said was…unimaginable. And threatening to throw you and Bucky out. “Merry fucking Christmas.” You muttered under your breath. You were halfway through when Bucky came through the door.

“Doll, wait.”

“No, you’re right, I want to leave. That was just…and what he said to you.”

“And you…” Bucky said, but you only nodded. Bucky stepped closer.

“And. You.” He said more firmly. But again, you just nodded and mumbled something that sounded like “yeah I guess” Bucky took your face in his hands. 

“And. You.” Before you could say another word, Bucky kisses you, deeply. When he pulled away you were in shock.

“Bucky, thank you but…there’s no reason to kiss me. No one’s here.”

“There is doll. But I just…I can’t…” he said. He looked to your bag. “Are we leaving?”

“Yes, there’s a B&B not too far. If not there’s a chain hotel 15 minutes on the highway.” You said. He packed while you waited quietly, your mind awash in thoughts. Bucky kissed you with no one around. Could that? No…it couldn’t. Bucky thankfully packed quickly and you two were headed back down stairs where your father and mother had been arguing; your mom trying to get your dad to apologize but your father screaming some bullshit about respect. You weren’t even sure they saw you leave.

The two of you were quiet in the car. You’d given Bucky the directions and were headed to the local b&b. You wanted to say something, anything. Mostly you wanted to ask why he had kissed you. You turned to see Bucky clenching the wheel tightly and you could practically see the gears turning in his head. You weren’t’ sure what to do, but decided trying to talk to him was your best bet.

“Bucky…” but before you could finish the thought, he pulled the car off the road, getting out of the car and walking towards the front. He let out a huge yell before slamming his metal hand against the hood, surely leaving a dent. You stayed in your seat as Bucky leaned against the hood, even though it was starting to rain.

Taking a deep breath and deciding enough was enough, you got out and came to stand next to him. “Bucky listen…”

“You can take me to the airport, it’s fine. I’ll see you after the holidays.” He said.

“Wait, what?”

“I ruined everything. This was a mistake.”

“Bucky, no. You didn’t do anything. My dad is an asshole. If anything, it’s my fault…”

“Stop. Your dad was right. I’m just some monster out of a freezer. Certainly not fit to be your boyfriend.” You swore you saw tears in his eyes. This time, it was your turn to wrap your arms around him in comfort.

“Bucky, you are a not a monster. You’re one of the nicest, most caring people I’ve ever met and I…” you tried to find the words.

“I love you, (y/n).” Bucky said, hardly above a whisper.

“I know,” you sniffed, wiping a few tears away. “I love you too Buck. You’re one of the best friends I have.”

“No, doll. I _LOVE_ you.” He stressed. You turned to look at him.

“You…?” you were at a true loss for words.

“I always thought…I could never be good enough for you. Hell, I still think I’m not good enough. But damn if I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to be.” He said, tears starting to run down his cheeks, mixing with the icy rain. You stood there in disbelief.

Bucky loved you…actually loved you. You couldn’t believe it. But when you looked into his steel blue eyes, you saw nothing but truth.

Truth and love.

You grabbed his face in your hands and pulled him close, kissing him. His hands rested on your shoulders, but slowly moved down to your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss. It was real. This was real. You eventually pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily while the rain picked up.

“We should…” Bucky started.

“Yeah.” You finished and both of you rushed back into the car, but didn’t drive off yet. Bucky immediately turned the heat up and you pressed your hands to the vents.

“Where do you wanna go, doll?”

“I don’t know, honestly. My mind is just…”

“Yeah, Mine too.” Bucky said. You two were quiet for a few more moments before Bucky pulled out his phone and tapped away, then he started driving.

“I thought we were going to try to the B&B?” you asked.

“Yeah, but it’s Christmas and we’re doing this right.” He said with a small smirk. You opened your mouth, but he was just so charming that despite your confusion, you just smiled and listened to the Christmas music as Bucky drove.

You dozed off a just briefly and when you awoke, Bucky was pulling into what looked like a castle. A sign advertised the building as ‘Norumbega Inn’ and it was a gorgeous stone building, windows glowing with warmth as the sun set.

“Wow, Buck…” you said in awe as he came around to your side

“I told you, I wanna do this right.” He said, opening your door, then going to grab your bags.

“You sure they have a room?” you asked.

“No, but we’ll find out.” Bucky said, as the two of you headed in

Once inside, you were bathed in Christmas and warmth. A beautiful pine tree with red and gold ornaments sat in the center of a sitting area and a fire roared in the fireplace by a bar, occupied by a bartender who looked more than ready to go home. You saw the girl behind the counter, who was very focused on her phone, not that you blame her. You two stepped up to the counter and cleared your throat, making her instantly look up from the phone.

“Welcome to the Norumbega Inn, how can I help you?”

“Hi, yes, were wondering if you had a room available.” You said and the receptionist huffed a little.

“Well, I’m not entirely sure, do you have any ID?” she asked, looking at her screen. You opened your wallet and had an idea.

You handed the woman your ID and corporate Stark Industries credit card and instantly the receptionist’s eyes went wide.

“Oh my apologies, I didn’t realize…is Mr. Stark coming here?” You and Bucky exchanged a look before you turned back to the woman and said

“To be honest, I’m not 100% sure. He just told me to get a room.” Bucky started to snicker but coughed to cover it.

“It does appear the Familial Suite is available. 3 bedrooms, small den area, and full bathroom with jacuzzi. Does that sound alright for Mr. Stark?” You smiled, Merry Christmas indeed.

“That sounds lovely.” You answered back, taking the keycard from her. AS soon as you and Bucky had walked out of earshot, the two of your burst out laughing.

“And you said _I_ was the trickster.” Bucky joked.

Once settled in the room, you sat on the bed while Bucky pulled a chair up, sitting across from you.

“I just…I don’t know where to start.” You said. “I guess…for a while, I’ve…I’ve liked you, but I was always worried to tell you because I just thought…I didn’t think you would never be interested in me.”

Bucky took your hands in his. “I’ve liked you too, (y/n). But that changed to love once you started to show me everything about the future and I got to see through your eyes how wonderful the world could be…and you made me feel like I could be deserving of love. I just…I didn’t think you’d want someone like me. And when you told me about this family thing, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get you alone but then your family.”

“I know, I’m sorry…” you started.

“No. You don’t have to apologize for anything. You are not responsible for their actions. Especially not after all they’ve done to you.”

“Done to me?” you said, trying to play dumb and push the subject away

“(y/n), come on. I saw that every time your father said something or your mom complained, it hurt you.” Bucky said. And you crossed your arms over your chest. “Doll, please. Don’t shut me out.”

“No, no. My parents… they’re just…” You tried to think of any of the excuses you’d used, but Bucky saw you. You let out a sigh. “They were always like that. Always putting me down, never making me feel like I was good enough, and not to mention my father’s gaslighting.” A tear ran down your cheek and Bucky brushed it away.

“I’m here now, doll. And I’m not going to let anyone or anything hurt you.” He hugged you close. And there, warm in his arms, everything just felt right.

“Bucky…” you started.

“Hmmm?”

“I want…” you said, feeling your face start to heat up. “I want to give you your Christmas present.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

You took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. The babydoll fit perfectly but you were still nervous. You wanted nothing more than to make Bucky excited and happy. Giving yourself a last once over, you grabbed the manilla folder and stepped out to the main living area, where Bucky was seated, looking at his phone. But as soon as he heard you come in, he looked like could’ve chucked the phone out the window.

“Wow, doll…you look…wow…”

“Nat and the girls convinced me to get it. I saw the wolf and I just…” You trailed off. “But, it’s not your real present.”

“Baby, you could get me a turkey sandwich and it’d still be the best present in the world.” He said, making you laugh. You walked over to him and in a bold moment of courage you decided to staddle his lap. His sharp inhale had you second guessing.

“Is this okay?’ you asked, almost moving to get off but he wrapped his flesh arm around you, drawing small circles on your back.

“I don’t think there’s anything that could make this not okay.” He saw the folder in your hand. “What’s that, doll?”

You handed him the folder. “It’s your Christmas present.” Taking his arm away from you, Bucky opened the folder, his eyes scanning over the letter inside. His jaw dropped.

“This…this can’t…I mean…”

“A full presidential pardon. And an official honorable discharge with a purple heart.” You said, running your hand over his metal arm.

“But…how?” Bucky asked

“Well, you have a few people to thank. Steve had already started the process, but it was stalled and backlogged. I called in a few personal favors, and racked up a few owed ones. But the big push actually came from Tony.” Bucky looked back at you, his eyes full of disbelief, but you only smiled in return.

He sat there quietly, reading and re-reading the letter. Then, he tossed the folder aside and his lips were on yours in an instant. Small quick kisses placed across your cheeks and lips.

“Doll, _YOU_ are my present. No ifs, ands, or buts. What you did was so thoughtful and loving… and then you stroll in here wearing that…I’m going to unwrap you. Slowly.” Bucky tugged at one of the silk straps on the babydoll, kissing along your neck and shoulder. “But first,” he said, reaching to his pocket. “…there is one thing I want to add.” He pulled his hand out “Close your eyes, doll.” You did so, and you felt him, putting something around your neck. _A collar?_ a deep part of you asked yourself but when you opened your eyes…it was the necklace from the winter carnival.

“Bucky…how?” You asked, tears forming in your eyes.

“When you went to find an ATM at the carnival, I went back to the table and bought it. I thought about maybe giving it to you, but I chickened out. I was just going to slip it into your luggage but now…seeing you wear it…” Again, his lips were on yours.

“You know, I saw you that day.” He said, his voice getting deeper and huskier. “I saw you peeking through the door…saw me in the shower. Like a naughty little girl.” His words, the kisses, his hands all over; everything was turning you on more and more until you were grinding in his lap. Especially as his words sunk in, and you felt your face heat up in embarrassment.

“I just…I was uhm…” you struggled to find the words but Bucky jerked his hips up, letting you feel how hard his cock was.

“Don’t try to deny it, doll. I saw you…and I made sure you got a great view.” He smirked. “But I’ll still have to punish you for watching me like that.” You bit your lip and nodded. Bucky was pressing all your buttons, ones you’d never admitted to anyone else.

“Hands and knees on the bed.” You bit your lip and did as he said. His flesh hand running over your ass and squeezing hard. “You got a safe word, doll. Or do you need your Sarge to give you one?”

“Winter, Sir.” You replied. Bucky let out a grunt of approval.

“Such a good girl. I’m gunna give you 10 smacks to this perfect ass. If you need me to stop at any time, you say that word and I’ll stop everything, okay?”

“Yes.” You said. But Bucky’s response was a harsh spank.

“Yes…?” he prompted and you turned to see that shit eating grin on his face. What had you gotten yourself into? Oh right, everything you’d ever fantasized about.

“Yes, sir.” You replied in a whimper. The first smack was more of a shock than anything, but you learned quickly that when Bucky spanked, he SPANKED. Hard. Even if it was just a little funishment. But the more shocking thing to you was how much it was turning you on.

“The next time…” SMACK

“I catch you peeping on me in the shower…” SMACK

“And you don’t come join me…” SMACK. He grabbed your hair and pulled your head up so you could see his wolfish grin and his eyes, still blue but seeming darker. “I’ll ruin you babydoll.” Then he kissed you while delivering the last of the spanks.

“All good?” He asked.

“Absolutely perfect.”

“Yes, yes you are.” His metal hand skimmed down your back and between your legs. “Fuck, so fucking wet. So fucking perfect. On your back, baby.” He ordered. Bucky stripped down to his boxers while you adjusted. He crawled on top, kissing you and trailing kissed down your chest, puling the babydoll down enough to expose your breasts, kissing and gently biting down on your nipples, making you squeak and buck your hips against him.

“God, I love the noises you make.” Lower and lower he kissed until he settled between your legs, pulling your panties down. “Fuck, you’re so wet. Just a little spanking did that to you?” He grinned. “Such a naughty baby. Gods, I love you.” Wasting no time, his tongue was on your pussy like a starving man at a banquet. His arms wrapped around your thighs, holding tight as his tongue laved over you, kissing and licking everywhere he could reach.

“Fuck! Yes!” you cried as you tried to grind against his face, but his metal hand held you down and kept you from moving at all. Your hands buried in his hair and pulled just a bit, making him growl.

Two fingers started to play with your clit, starting with just small circles, making you whimper. He started to rub your clit and you knew with everything he was doing it wasn’t going to be long before your climax.

“Bucky…I’m gunna…”

“I know baby. I want you to cum for me and scream so that receptionist knows what we’re doing.” You chuckled slightly before letting out another moan as he started rubbing harder against your clit. “Fuck doll. That’s it. Cum for me.” You did as you were told and came in one of the most amazing orgasms you’d ever experienced. Bucky kept pushing you through it, making it feel even more intense. As the feeling passed, Bucky adjusted himself so he was above you and kissed you more. You could taste yourself on him but you couldn’t care less.

“Do you still want this, (y/n)?” he asked and you nodded feverishly, resulting in a pinch to your thigh. “Words, doll.”

“Yes, sir. I want you so bad.” You pleaded, satisfying Bucky who pulled his boxers down. You let out a small gasp. You had always guessed Bucky was… _gifted_ but now you truly knew.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll go slow. Do you want me to get a condom?” he asked and you shook your head.

“I’m safe. And clean.” You reassured him. “The miracles of modern birth control science.” You joked and Bucky smiled before kissing you again. He settled his hips against your own and started to push in, slowly. You winced slightly, making Bucky pause, but you only kissed him in reassurance. He started again and yes, he was a big man but the pain mingled with pleasure, especially when Bucky reached his hand down and started playing with your slightly overstimulated clit.

“Fuck…fuck…right there.” You groaned out. Bucky picked up his thrusts a little more and you went to rake your nails down his back, but before you could blink, your hands were pinned by his metal one, squeezing maybe just a little too tightly.

“God, look at you. You love my thick cock deep inside you, don’t you my little _printsessa?”_ he growled and you whimpered, your eyes closing.

“Yes sir.”

“Such a naughty little slut, being pinned down and fucked like a little slut. But you love it, cause that’s what you are….my little slut…” Where had this come from? You’d never known Bucky to have such a filthy mouth. But it only turned you on more, especially as Bucky’s hips rutted faster into you, the hand playing with your clit rubbing harder. He leaned down and kisses turned to nibbles turned to biting and leaving a hickey you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to cover, not that you were sure you wanted to. “My doll….my precious doll…” he grunted.

“All yours…yours…” you nodded

“Prove it. Cum for me. Cum all over my cock and show me who you belong to.” He said. The combination of Bucky’s words and thrusts were too much and you felt yourself again cumming at his command, crying out Bucky’s name as he fucked you through your orgasm, chasing his own.

“Fuck doll…gunna…”

“Cum in me buck, please…” you begged and that was his tipping point. HE stilled above you as you felt his cum inside you, warm and a strange new feeling, but wonderful at the same time

When you started to come down from the high, Bucky was there again with kisses and asking if you were okay; and in that moment, you’d never felt more loved or cared for. You nestled close to Bucky and told him “I’ve never been happier than this moment.” The two of you were quiet, basking in the afterglow before you looked at him

“Where on earth did you learn to talk like that though?” you asked. He blushed and he furrowed his brows in concern

“Well…I just…” he cleared his throat. “A man has needs, you know? So, I was online one night and I found this video of a guy…tying up a girl and spanking her and it just, Christ I’ve never been more turned on. Then, I found something called “50 shades of grey’…” you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “…and got that general reaction from the internet.” He continued. “And then I did research on real kink and it just….” He looked a little sheepish. You ran your hand over his chest and he smiled at you. “It was like a way…to control the Soldier. That side of me… I’m still in full control of myself, of course. But letting out some of those darker desires through healthy BDSM, it seemed to work. Not only that, but seeing the care and love that a dominant would give a submissive, it made me feel like…me again. But if it was too much, we never have to do it again or talk about it.”

“Actually…” you bit your lip. “I was hoping we could do a little more.” Bucky’s eyebrow quirked.

“Oh yeah? You like being called naughty names and tossed around?” He said and you pressed your thighs together.

“Just a little bit.” You said, quietly.

“Yeah, well I think you like it more than a little bit. Now c’mere.” He held you tightly to his chest, tucking the blankets around both of you and murmuring sweet nothings. All the while you ran your fingers over his chest, until you started to focus on the scarring around his shoulder. You felt your heart ache ever so slightly at the thought of everything Bucky had gone through. But before you could go too far down the rabbit hole, Bucky took your hand in his and kissed it.

“Those scars are my past doll. But you, Steve, the avengers. That’s my future.” He said before kissing you.

“I love you Bucky,” you said once he’d pulled away. You two were quiet as you tried to enjoy the moment, but something kept nagging at you.

“Whatcha thinking about, doll?” Bucky asked. You let out a short laugh

“How’d you know?”

“I can see the gears turning.” He smirked and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“I was thinking about my parents…” you admitted. “I don’t know what to do.” Bucky thought for a moment.

“Well. The way I see it, you have a couple options, you can forgive your dad and move on or you could tell him how you feel.” You weighed those options for a moment before Bucky spoke up again. “Or you could just let me beat him to a pulp.” Which made you laugh.

“Tempting…very tempting…” you joked.

“We could always just leave and you could call them from the compound.” Bucky offered. And you thought about that. But you shook your head.

“No, this is something that needs to be done in person.” You just hoped you had the strength to do it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter

The whole drive over you were tense and quiet as you went over what you wanted to say in your head. You gripped Bucky’s hand tightly; to the point he made a joke about wishing his right hand was the metal one, which did make you laugh and the knot loosen in your stomach.

“We don’t have to do this, you know. We could just go home.” Bucky offered. You thought about it, but shook your head.

“No, I want to do this. I’ve put it off for too long.” You said as Bucky pulled into the driveway.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, I need you there with me.”

As you stepped up to the door, you were hit with the scent of cinnamon buns. Your mom made them every Christmas morning. But now, the anxiety was just making your stomach turn. You knocked gently on the door and you were reminded of the first night you came home with Bucky. And just like that night, it was your mother who answered the door.

“Hi…” she said, sounding a little stunned.

“Hi,” you said, quietly. “Is it alright if we come in?” Your mom stepped back, letting you and Bucky enter. You didn’t bother taking your coat off. But you did hand your mom the wrapped air fryer you had bought her.

“Is that them?” you heard your father call from the living room. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. But, almost sensing your fear, Bucky squeezed your hand. You looked to him and nodded and walked into the room where your father was sitting, staring at his iPad.

“Did you come to apologize?”

“No. I came to say a few things.” You declared.

“Look, if you’re going to get butthurt because I forgot what’s his name, you can just walk…”

“Will you shut the fuck up for 5 minutes?” you said, angrily. That made him look up. “For more than 20 years I’ve let you belittle me, emotionally abuse me, gaslight me, and all because I didn’t want cause tension and start fights. But I’m done.”

“Please, you’re exaggerating.” Your father scoffed. “You just want someone to take your own issues out on.”

“There you again. Gaslighting me. No, you are the source of my issues.”

“I haven’t done shit to you.” Your father insisted.

“No, you have, you just don’t want to acknowledge any of the responsibility of what you’ve done. Because you’re fucking jaded and bitter about the world and don’t want to deal with your own issues. For fucking years, I listened to you bitch and moan about who was ‘ruining the country.’ And half the people you blamed are people like me or him.” You gestured to bucky. “But in reality, the only one ruining anything is you.”

“Well, I’m sorry I offended you _snowflake_ , but I’m fucking old enough to have my own god damn opinions and if you don’t fucking like it…” your father’s voice raised and he stood up but before he could take a step, Bucky was standing between the two of you. But the way he stood, the look in his eyes…

No, this wasn’t Bucky. This was the Winter Soldier.

“You lay one finger on her; I will end your existence.” He said, his voice low and full of danger.

“You lay a hand on me, and I’m calling the cops. They can ship your ass back to Siberia.” Your father reached for his phone but before he could even unlock it, Bucky had grabbed it and crushed it to pieces with his metal hand. He stepped out of your way, but kept his hand on your shoulder.

“For years you did the barest minimum of being a decent person and father and expected the world to throw you a fucking parade. And I’m done. I’m done with your narcissism; I’m done just letting every hurtful thing you say go and hoping you learn. I’m done letting you tear me down just so you can do something nice and keep me complacent. If you ever decide to remove your head from your ass and see a therapist, good luck. But I don’t ever want to see you or talk to you again.” By now, the tears had started to run down your face and you rushed from the room, not wanting to hear whatever bullshit response he would try to give.

Bucky was close behind you, but you were barely out the door when your mom reached out to grab your arm.

“(y/n) …” she started

“Mom, please. I can’t do it anymore.” You looked back at her, tears in her eyes and it looked like she wanted to say something. After a moment you let out a sigh. “I’ll call _you_. Not him.” And with that, you shut the door behind the two of you. You could hear the screaming and fighting all the way to the car. Once you and Bucky were inside, you broke down crying, with Bucky holding you tight.

You would really have to do something nice for Tony for all that his name had done for you over the week. You and Bucky had been able to get a flight back to New York, though not first class. Thankfully, because of the holiday, you at least had a little more room; but all you wanted to do was be close to Bucky.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bucky asked but you merely shook your head and held his hand tighter. And he nodded in response. Even if you weren’t’ feeling non-verbal right now, you weren’t sure you would know what to say. What does one say after they’ve just told their abusive father to go take a flying leap? Part of you felt so heavy, but the other part so free. But at the center of the whirlwind of emotions was Bucky. Your anchor and current tether to reality. You leaned your head against him. And in the quietest voice you could muster you said,

“Thank you.” And when he wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head, a peace settled on you and you thought that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. Your eyes closed and you fell asleep for the remainder of the flight

The drive back to the compound was better. You and Bucky sang along to ALL of the Christmas songs on the radio. And with no traffic, you made it home in record time. The compound was all dark, but that didn’t surprise you, figuring everyone else must’ve made plans. Bucky swiped his key card, letting you both into the main room. But instead of darkness, you were greeted by the sight of the tree that the Avengers had put up, twinkling brightly in the dark room, and roaring fire in the fireplace.

“Well, this is cozy.” You said, but before Bucky could say anything…

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” You jumped in surprise as everyone (Tony & his family, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Bruce, Wanda, Thor, Loki, Brunhilde, Peter, Carol & her wife, Maria) came out from the kitchen, all wearing ugly sweaters and comfy pajamas and looking as warm and inviting as the fire.

“Wha…how…? What are you all doing here? It’s Christmas” you said in disbelief.

“Exactly. And the Manchurian Candidate let us all know what went on between you and your parents.” Tony piped up. Coming forward to give you a hug. “So, since your blood family is trash, why not spend Christmas with your real family?”

You stood there in shock for a moment before hugging Tony back just as tightly, crying tears of joy. The hug lasted for a few moments before Tony said

“And after the holidays, we need to talk about the definitions of the words ‘corporate’ and ‘emergency only’” you laughed and pulled away. Then, Steve handed you a small bundle.

“Merry Christmas, (y/n). Good to see you and Bucky finally finding your way to each other.” After giving you the present, he took Sam’s hand in his own. You looked at Bucky

“You told them?”

“You’re lucky I haven’t gotten a billboard declaring it. Though, maybe Monday…” he mused and you smack his (FLESH) shoulder, smiling. You tore open the bundle to find your own ugly sweater with a red star on front and fuzzy pajamas.

“Before you go change, there’s one more person who wanted to say Merry Christmas, though she couldn’t be here in person.” Tony tapped a few buttons on his tablet, and a hologram of Shuri appeared.

“Queen Shuri!” you quickly bowed your head in respect but she laughed.

“There’s no need for that.” She said. “Especially not for the woman dating the White Wolf.” Bucky’s chest puffed out a little and you rolled your eyes. “Sargent Barnes told me how you and he stood up for my brother and his name. And I wanted to say thank you and Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you, Shuri. Merry Christmas to you as well.” You said, then decided to go change while more pleasantries were exchanged. When you had returned, you were able to say goodbye to Shuri before she “left”. And the whole team settled in the living room.

“What happened to the yule celebration?” you asked Thor, who shrugged jovially.

“We simply decided to bring the celebration to you. There’s plenty of mead and meat in the fridge.” He explained

“Good, I’ll need something to balance out how much sugar Wanda puts in the cookies.” You teased, resulting in a playful shove from her.

“Says the woman who drinks those Starbucks drinks loaded with sugar.” She said in response, leaving you without an argument.

“So, what shall we do first? A movie? Games? See what effects Asgardian mead has on two human super soldiers?” Tony asked.

“I vote we watch ‘it’s a wonderful life.’” You suggested, snuggling closer to Bucky. The rest of the group agreed and tony pushed a few more buttons on his tablet, making the movie show on the ginormous tv.

You looked over briefly to the window and saw snowflakes starting to fall. You nudged Bucky gently, making him look over. He looked back at you, smiling before kissing you gently.

“Merry Christmas, doll.” He whispered

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.”


End file.
